SHOCK-ing Development

Rick Mahorn is being scapegoated. Watch the damned video. He is in the midst of the recent Shock/Sparks WNBA brawl. He is in there to try and keep dirty thug/mother of one Lisa Leslie from slapping around some younger players. When she swings her arm, she pushes off of Mahorn, who's only crime is apparently being too big for the skinny bitch to move. And special kudos to The Shock's Plenette Pierson, who, in instigating the entire conflict with her little ripping away of the ball after the whistle, was given a much larger stage than she deserved. Her further display of classlessness in standing over a player she knocked to the ground led her to getting ripped to the floor by Candice Parker, and her further bitchiness and thuggery led directly to her teammate Cheryl Ford losing part of her season and maybe her career to a torn ACL. I hope you feel like shit, you nasty bitch, because now, because of your selfish showboating and ego, a decent player is hurt and you are not.

I got your back Rick.

"You're dead, Willie..."

Fred Tampon Wilpon, owner of the New York Mess Mets, has fired Willie Randolph. What a fucking shame. It's a shame not only that one of New York's most beloved sports heroes has been treated so shabbily, but that the Mets think that Jerry Manuel is any better a solution for this club.

Mets fans are right up there with the AFLAC duck on my scale of annoying pieces of shit now a days. FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET IT GO. The Yankees had a far more historic collapse in the 2004 playoffs, and they've managed to get over it. Stop whining about last season's 17 game horror show and move along.

Firing Randolph is one of the most short sighted moves I have ever seen. Sure, Willie wasn't the most media savvy guy in New York sports management history, but while everyone is busy blaming him for the Mets origami ending last year, let's not forget who managed them to that high perch they fell from. If he's responsible for their losses, why not their wins? I'm sure it's Willie's fault that Mr. Glass Moises Alou gets hurt eating breakfast cereal. I'm sure it's Willie's fault that David Wright has an occasional case of frying pan hands. Surely Willie is responsible for Carlos Delgado's inability to hit water falling out of a boat. And why should Whiny Bitch-fag Billy Wagner take any blame for bitching about his teammates lack of heart and then blowing three consecutive saves?

I hope the Mets plummet in the standings and fall into an Isaih Thomas' Knicks like funk until these spoiled crybaby players decide to take some accountability for their own shortcomings, and Fred Wilpon keels over from a heart attack. For years, the only thing the Mets had over the Yankees is that they weren't run by Veruca Salt George Steinbrenner. Congratulations, Wilpon, for bridging that gap.

Big News:

I have officially declared myself eligible for the 2008 NBA Draft.

Why should any team spend a pick on me?

Unlike many of the players currently in the NBA, I am drug free.

I have no criminal record.

I have a camera friendly face, for the frequent sideline shots I will be featured in.

As a 6' fat white guy, I'm the last one they'd expect to hit the big shot.

I do not frequent strip clubs, nor do I whack hookers over the head with table legs.

It would be a media bonanza.

I can hit the wide open three. Defended, not so much. But hey, Mike Penberthy got a full season, why shouldn't I?

I am the ultimate team player; I can put the starter's tear away pants back together when they come back off the bench.

I am destined to be an analyst on ESPN; the GM that picks me could take credit for launching my career.

If only Rick Pitino was still a GM. I know I could probably get a 3 year, $15 million dollar deal based on my "potential."

Sports overseas...

In this time of creative impotence, I figured I'd fill space by describing the sports culture over here.

Here, Soccer is king, but it is known as football. Every major city has a football team, and the citizens follow them with fierce loyalty. Even the most casual of sports fan here can tell you who is atop the league.

They follow American football here too, to a limited extent. Pernille's brother Mikkel is a Jets fan (poor guy). ;)

Handball is a big thing over here, too. Not the "hit-the-little-rubber-ball-against-the-concrete-wall handball; REAL handball, which is a lot like a combination of soccer, basketball, and throwing something as hard as humanly possible at someone's crotch (well, that's what it was about in High School gym class, anyway). It is as big over here as baseball is over in the US.

Hockey is followed, but not the NHL. Which is okay, because the European game is far more graceful and artistic than the thuggish American Style NHL.

But there is, sadly, no love for baseball. The closest thing they have is round ball, which is a boiled down version of the sport I cherish oh so much. I have been getting my fix of the MLB thanks to my subscription to MLB.com, I have watched a couple of White Sox games while I am here, which almost made me forget that I am 3557 miles from the nearest professional baseball stadium. Who'd have thought I'd be longing for FENWAY?!?

America has rolled by like an Army of steamrollers...

Baseball is back baby!

Good luck in the job hunt, Barry...

Official:

I am leaving the country. Not the Alec Baldwin Rage-against-the-government leaving the country, just a two week stint to be with my honey bunny Nille in Denmark. Middle of May is the big day. Pictures and report will appear in this space afterwards.

Super Bowl

Prediction: Giants in a squeaker, 31-28.

Yeah, right.

Looking forward to at least seeing some decent commercials. Maybe Michael Vick will do a spot for Pedigree dog food.