Monday, December 13, 2010

Brett Favre Misses Start, Ends Streak

Vikings Quarterback/Undead-Zombie-Walker Brett Favre is listed as inactive for tonight's game against the New York Giants, marking the end of his remarkable streak of consecutive games started at 297, which is an NFL record.

Favre's status was in doubt after he left last week's contest against the Buffalo Bills after only three plays, being driven to the ground by Bills Linebacker Arthur Moats. He listed in the injury report as inactive for the first time in his career. It marks the first time he has not played a down since September of 1992.

Favre was initially still going to play through the injury. But while team doctors were prepping him for his 298th start, the life insurance policy and waiver that team officials were making him sign sliced the skin on the back of his left forearm. The paper cut caused Favre to inhale sharply. "Hey! Ow!" he reportedly exclaimed. After examining the cut, Favre then decided he was too traumatized to continue.

"It really stings," Favre added.

The SC joint is only the latest in a long list of injuries Favre has suffered. He has two fractures in his foot, an ankle injury, a neck injury, required stitches to his chin a few weeks ago, has a sore calf, his right elbow has small pieces of radioactive meteorite in it, his back is held together with baling wire, rods and a cured gob if mighty putty serving as a substitute C7 vertebrae, his thumb was replaced with a wooden prosthesis after a combine accident in 2003, and he intentionally completed a sever in his right bicep tendon with the top of a can of Spaghettios in order to return to a game.

Favre (left) is examined by Dr. David Olson, Vikings team physician.
"He's more machine than man now," Olson said, "twisted and evil."
It was rumored that as of game time, Favre was seen encasing his body in pillows and duct tape in an effort to get back onto the field in time for the first series.

Now that Favre has missed his first game in nearly 20 years, the new active leader in consecutive starts is Colts QB Peyton Manning, who has played his entire career suffering from Hydrocephaly.