Monday, January 31, 2011

Antonio Cromartie Still Optimistic Jets Could Make Super Bowl

New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie remained optimistic that his team could earn a berth to Super Bowl XLV despite the notable handicap that the Jets were eliminated from the NFL playoffs last Sunday, losing the AFC Championship game to the Pittsburgh Steelers 24-19.

"We just have to keep on believing," Cromartie said, apparently with no understanding whatsoever of the concept of a single elimination tournament. "Things didn't go our way that night, but we can recover from this. We're just too good a team to go down like this."

Despite being told by several teammates, team officials, members of the press, family members and extensive coverage on every major media outlet in the world that his team was done for the season, Cromartie remained steadfast in his belief that the Jets, with enough determination and hard work, could hoist the Lombardi Trophy in front of the assembled masses in Arlington on February 6th.

"Ben Roethlisberger?" Cromartie said. "Please. He doesn't have what it takes to win a Super Bowl. The Steelers defense won't be able to stop a runny nose the next time we face them for the right to get to Super Bowl XLV."

Cromartie then went on to make several disparaging remarks about the Steelers receivers, defensive coach Dick LeBeau, and team owner and US Ambassador to Ireland Art Rooney.

"And don't get me started on Aaron Rodgers, man. He's just a backup. Brett Favre is so beat up he couldn't finish the season and this guy thinks he can take his place?"

When reminded that Favre no longer plays for the Green Bay Packers, and in fact, had played for Cromartie's own team two years ago before finishing his career with the Minnesota Vikings, the back merely shook his head. "Don't matter. We'll beat them too. We're going all the way this year, BABY!"

Mark Sanchez was busy splicing newspaper clippings together that suggested the AFC's performance in the Pro Bowl could somehow change the outcome of the AFC Championship and was unavailable for comment.