Sunday, June 21, 2009

At the Risk of Repeating Myself...

I have officially declared myself eligible for the 2009 NBA Draft.

Why should any team spend a pick on me?

Unlike many of the players currently in the NBA, I am STILL drug free.

I STILL have no criminal record.

As a 6' fat white guy, I'm the last one they'd expect to hit the big shot.

I do not frequent strip clubs, nor do I whack hookers over the head with table legs.

It would be a media bonanza.

I can hit the wide open three. Defended, not so much. But hey, Mike Penberthy got a full season, why shouldn't I?

I am the ultimate team player; I can put the starter's tear away pants back together when they come back off the bench.

I am destined to be an analyst on ESPN; the GM that picks me could take credit for launching my career.

Seriously, guys. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.
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