Thursday, October 27, 2016

2016-2017 NFL Picks: Week 8

Week 7 Record: 8-6-1
Overall Record: 61-45-1

Thursday, 10/27
Jacksonville @ Tennessee: Tennessee

Sunday, 10/30
Washington @ Cincinnati: Cincinnati (ANOTHER fucking tie? REALLY?!)
New England @ Buffalo: New England
New York (AFC) @ Cleveland: New York
Kansas City @ Indianapolis: Kansas City
Seattle @ New Orleans: Seattle
Oakland @ Tampa Bay: Oakland
Arizona @ Carolina: Arizona
Detroit @ Houston: Houston
San Diego @ Denver: Denver
Green Bay @ Atlanta: Green Bay
Philadelphia @ Dallas: Dallas

Monday, 10/31
Minnesota @ Chicago: Minnesota

Sunday, October 23, 2016

The 2016 World Series: Apocalypse Edition

The 2016 World Series is guaranteed to make one long suffering fan base ecstatic, but also crush another one with further hopelessness.

The Chicago Cubs have made it to the World Series for the first time since 1945, when they lost to the Detroit Tigers in seven games after Billy Sianis cursed the franchise for ejecting his wet pet goat from Game 4. This absurd shit seemed to have actually worked, because since then, the Cubs have been 0-8 in playoff years (not including this season) and has included heart-breaking moments such as the infamous Steve Bartman game, in which a Cubs fan named Steve Bartman presumably interfered with a foul ball late in the potentially clinching game that the Cubs lost to the eventual World Series Champion Florida Marlins. The Cubs are happy to break their 71 year Pennant drought, but the biggest hill still remains, as the team has not won a World Series title since 1908.

Meanwhile, the OTHER longest drought in World Series history belongs to the Cleveland Indians, who last made it to the World Series in 1997 but haven't won one since 1948. The Indians have had several near misses, having lost to the Braves and Marlins in '95 and '97 respectively. Their mishaps have been exemplified by the unofficial Curse of Rocky Colavito, who was the infamous Cleveland slugger who was traded for Harvey Kuenn, who went on to play only one season for the Indians. Interestingly enough, the Indians were the target of George Steinbrenner, the Veruca Salt of Major League Baseball, but the offer was rejected by Vernon Stouffer (the frozen food guy). Can you imagine Cleveland's baseball history had Steinbrenner taken over? We'd still be talking about the Yankees 40+ year drought of championships amidst the Cleveland dynasty of the 90's.

The cities have known their fair share of heartbreak. The Cubs and White Sox had 185 combined years of ringlessness before the Sox broke that drought in 2005. The Bears had one Super Bowl win in 1985. But the Blackhawks have won three of their six Stanley Cups in the past decade, and the Bulls had a string or six NBA championships in an eight year span in the 90's. So there have been parades in Chicago before.

Cleveland has just broken a severe championship drought of it's own, with the victory of the Cleveland Monsters over the Hershey Bears in the AHL's Calder Cup. Oh, and the Cavs just broke their 46 year drought in the NBA by beating the Golden State Warriors in June with the help of the NBA itself (when spoiled crybaby LeBron James went out of his way to step directly over an opposing player and the league suspended the guy he stepped over).

One of these teams will break their drought, while the other will break their fans' hearts.

I am torn. Less than 1% of people alive today were alive to hear the phrase "World Champion Chicago Cubs." It's inconceivable to think of life in a world where the Cubs fans aren't eternally frustrated. Cleveland has long been the punchline of a great many sports jokes, and their reaction when LeBron James left the Cavs in 2010 via free agency was PATHETIC. The way the Cubs have long been the darling of Chicago when their baseball drought was actually snapped by the White Sox has long drawn my ire. Cleveland has been directly responsible for more of the White Sox post season woes than the Cubs. I think I will be rooting for the Indians, sadly enough. But destiny itself seems to be rooting for the Cubs for once.

Prediction: Cubs in six.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

2016-2017 NFL Picks: Week 7

Week 6 Record: 9-6
Overall Record: 53-39

Thursday, 10/20
Chicago @ Green Bay: Green Bay

Sunday, 10/23
New York (NFC) @ Los Angeles: New York
Cleveland @ Cincinnati: Cincinnati
Washington @ Detroit: Washington
Indianapolis @ Tennessee: Indianapolis
New Orleans @ Kansas City: Kansas City
Buffalo @ Miami: Buffalo
Baltimore @ New York (AFC): Baltimore
Minnesota @ Philadelphia: Minnesota
Oakland @ Jacksonville: Oakland
San Diego @ Atlanta: Atlanta
Tampa Bay @ San Francisco: Tampa Bay
New England @ Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh
Seattle @ Arizona: Seattle (A fucking tie? REALLY?)

Monday, 10/24
Houston @ Denver: Denver

Thursday, October 13, 2016

2016-2017 NFL Picks: Week 6

Week 5 Record: 7-7
Overall Record: 44-33

Thursday, 10/13
Denver @ San Diego: Denver

Sunday, 10/18
San Francisco @ Buffalo: Buffalo
Jacksonville @ Chicago: Chicago
Los Angeles @ Detroit: Detroit
Cleveland @ Tennessee: Tennessee
Pittsburgh @ Miami: Pittsburgh
Cincinnati @ New England: New England
Carolina @ New Orleans: New Orleans
Baltimore @ New York (NFC): New York
Philadelphia @ Washington: Philadelphia
Kansas City @ Oakland: Kansas City
Dallas @ Green Bay: Green Bay
Atlanta @ Seattle: Atlanta
Indianapolis @ Houston: Houston

Monday, 10/19
New York (AFC) @ Arizona: Arizona

Wednesday, October 05, 2016

2016-2017 NFL Picks: Week 5

Week 4 Record: 12-3
Overall Record: 37-26

Thursday, 10/6
Arizona @ San Francisco: Arizona

Sunday, 10/9
New England @ Cleveland: New England
Philadelphia @ Detroit: Philadelphia
Chicago @ Indianapolis: Indianapolis
Tennessee @ Miami: Miami
Houston @ Minnesota: Houston
New York (AFC) @ Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh
Washington @ Baltimore: Baltimore
Atlanta @ Denver: Denver
Cincinnati @ Dallas: Cincinnati
San Diego @ Oakland: Oakland
Buffalo @ Los Angeles: Buffalo
New York (NFC) @ Green Bay: Green Bay

Monday, 10/10
Tampa Bay @ Carolina: Carolina