"O.K., kid, you're doing fine. I should have told you Hernandez likes the outside of the plate. My bad. Now, Diaz likes the ball up and in, so-"
"Uh, dude-"
"Dave, kid. Call me Dave. Diaz feasts on the inside stuff, so we need to work the outer half of the plate, and-"
"Um, Dave-"
"I know, kid, but we keep him off balance, draw him out over the plate. As soon as he starts crowding, we bust him inside, and-"
"DAVE."
"Yeah, kid, what is it?"
"Why are you still holding my ass?"
::Long uncomfortable pause:: "I do this with all the pitchers. So anyway, Diaz will wait for that inside pitch-"
"I don't remember seeing you grabbing Bronson Arroyo this long. Or this hard."
"Television makes everything seem quicker. Now once we get Diaz thinking he's never gonna see an inside pitch-"
"I'm really gonna need you to take your hand off my ass, Dave."
"In a minute, kid."
"NOW, Dave."
::Long uncomfortable pause:: "What number are you wearing, kid?"
"52."
"What number am I wearing?"
"26."
"You know what that means?"
"No, Dave."
"It means I'm breaking camp and heading to Cincy after this, while you still have to earn a seat on the bus. And even if you DO make the big club, you're a rookie. And you know what happens to rookies."
"I'm fairly certain they don't get molested by their catchers."
"Among other things. I don't care if you are a can't miss, rook, until you've cashed your last paycheck of the year, you're my bitch."
"I'm thinking it might be better for me to miss out on making the big club."
"Your call, rook."
"How many years is your contract?"
"Two years, with a club option for '09."
"Shit. So unless you get traded, I have to stay in the minors until 2009?"
"2010 if the club picks up the option."
::Long uncomfortable pause:: "Can you at least give it a little squeeze?"
